What has been happening at Tyneside? It’s been years since Newcastle has had a respectable EPL season. One wonders if the beer is the only thing left to be remembered because the football these days is nothing to write home about.

Last Sunday Sheffield United came into St. James’ Park and came away with all 3 pts. While Glenn Roeder was able to pull off some of his Harry Potter magic last year–with his talent, he was able to retrieve the scorer’s stone which had been lost during the reign of ”the prison of Azkaban”, Graeme Souness–this season has been on a down hill spiral as the loss to the newly promoted side Sheffield United was the first victory for The Blades. Second from bottom, level with Crystal Palace on 8 pts., the Magpies face Manchester City in a game that Potter, I mean Roeder, will think he can win, but can they?

Newcastle spells the same voodoo that saw Ruud Gullit be disgraced out of Tyneside, while even getting a gun-touting Asprilla under control and scoring Goals against Barcalona.

So when you send the likes of Gullit and Sir Bobby Robson to the showers expecting more wins and titles, but refusing to move your football standards higher then 1980s, you are on an impossible mission.

Look Toon Army, your greatest player Paul Gascoigne was an English Genius that was born with Brazilian rhythm. No Englishmen will display that again. It’s just not in your hips.

Get a Brazilian and shut up in the north stand when creativity doesn’t pay large dividends all the time. If you want dividends constantly in the amount of a nickel, keep playing Scott Parker. You will be up to a dollar by the time you guys get relegated.

Please go down to the Coca-Cola league Leeds is lonely! Oh and that is another team that refuses to change.

And I am talking about the fans mentality toward the game. Roeder may be looking at Quidditch matches next year.

The game started out hot and heavy and in Colorado’s favor. Thank my lucky stars they were gifted a PK in the early minutes by a flailing Houston defender, who batted the ball down off an early corner. Kirovsky rewarded for applying the pressure in the box.

Two players got starts that I hadn’t seen play this year: Clint Mathis and Johan Kirovsky—Clint, ex-World Cupper and Johan ex-Budesliga recognition. Clint Mathis now physically looks terrible. He reminds me of a blotted Swedish Brolin after World Cup 1994 when he went to Crystal Palace and asked for all his earnings in the form of Mickey D’s dollar menu items.

I think Clint commemorates every game in the MLS with 10 of the same and a bottle of Wild Turkey. After Johan Kirovsky scored the opener he must have immediately ran to a corner and hid. I needed a gps tracker to confirm he was still on the field throughout the game.

Unfortunately for Colorado, my favorite player as the game went on was the finisher of the two Houston goals, Dogleash. His name is spelt different, but that is how this strikers name is pronounced, so Dogleash it is. I don’t know his past, but I could guess that he has spent some time playing in the Houston Inter-Correctional league—where he was known as the Shiv.

Colorado’s backline looked a little more sound since I saw them last, but it seems that Karanka has been living off having Real Madrid on his resume for at least 3 years. His form had to have dropped so many levels to be displaying the errors that he was committing, aka the goals by the Shiv (Dogleash).

For some reason, Niko Hernandez started in the Colorado midfield. This is the guy who scored two goals last game, but slowly moved forward in this one. I think he needed to give his hair the chance to dry by doing a bit of running. Offense this time was out of the question. He couldn’t get anything going because he needed his Brazilian provider Martins to have someone on the same wave length. Alas, it never came even when the Brazilian Mountain Man got the nod in the 65th minute.

The two starters, who I mentioned earlier, were no where to be found.  Johan Kirovsky ended his day after the PK in the 3rd minute, and I think Clint Mathis hit the bottle at half time.

Houston though, looked sober and ready to work. Most embarrassing for Colorado was when Ganggreen, or whatever the right backs name was, who got in as a sub, was butchered in the corner by some fresh skill by the Venezuelan Moreno, who served a cash money right footed bending cross to a low volley finish, to show Colorado that they were out of their league.  And apparently now out of their season. Good bye and thanks for the Good times Class 2 Rapids (at least that’s better than class 4!).

Meditations from Mongoose

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1. La Liga

2. EPL

3. Bundesliga

4. MLS Conference and Finals  

5. Serie A

After the Gunners fired away on all cylinders in their recent (4-0) dismantling of newly promoted side Reading, many people, including myself, believed that the good times had returned; however, as evident in their last four matches, the problems facing Arsenal are more serious than Arsene Wenger would like for you to believe, and a victory, no matter how convincingly against the weaker sides of the Premiership, is no means by which to measure the heart of the current Gunners side.

While the spirit, cohesion, and quality are still engrained in the side that youth built, the tenacity and know how to manage games has seemed to have been put to rest at their old ground, Highbury. Arsenal no longer has the formidable strength to see off the stronger sides of England and Europe though Arsenal usually out play their opponent.
    
In their last four matches the side has only been able to tally up one goal and that was in the draw against Everton two weekends ago. Otherwise they are coming off a loss on the road and a tie at home to Spartak Moscow in the Champions League, having been held scoreless by the Russian Champions, as well as another goose egg in an emotionally charged loss to West Ham in this past Sunday’s EPL round.

Their only goal in the last four matches came courtesy of Robin Van Persie, who hammered in a powerful free-kick against Everton. Unbelievably, Arsenal has been unable to score during the run of play, exposing their inconsistency to put away goals. In the string of matches, Arsenal players have been guilty of squandering chance upon chance, which no doubt has caused a headache for Arsene Wenger.
    
The usually cool cucumber, Wenger, found himself in a shoving match with Alan Pardew after the West Ham fixture as Marlon Harewood fired home a doorstep goal in the final minutes of a tense match that saw a legitimate penalty on Hleb go unnoticed. Wenger took offense to Pardew’s celebrations (perhaps even fueled on by his frustration with his own side’s inability to find the net) and let West Ham know that gloating gets you nowhere.

It gets no easier this week as Arsenal face Liverpool on Sunday. I hope the Gunners can break the draught, but against the defensive organization of Liverpool it could be another scoreless weekend.

Carvings from the Dagger

A picture speaks a thousand words—a substituted Adu’s face hidden in shambles from ABC camera crews as DC United were crashed and humbled by the Revs. While DC United clearly were the better team, their inability to convert possession and attacking play into goals was mostly the product of their end-of-season form that was stagnate at best. 

While the Eastern Conference final was anticipated to be a cagey affair between DC United and the New England Revolution, the Revs had other plans and took the lead in the 4th min. when Pat Noonan and Taylor Twellmen combined to give the ultimate wake up call to United.

Before either team could break a sweat, Noonan crossed in from the right side to Twellmen, who had peeled off his marker to latch on to the cross and found the back of the net with an off balance bender, putting the onis, and therefore, the negative pressure, on DC United to come back.

And in truth, DC United deserved to score a number of times in the next 30 min. as countless attacks from Adu, Moreno, and others allowed for numerous scoring chances that went a begging. In the 10th min., DC United created an excellent opportunity that really deserved more than Adu’s week shot could muster.

Minutes later Adu feed Moreno in at the near post, the Bolivian just missing on the wrong side of the net. By minute 20, DC United was all over New England from a corner kick and was definitely knocking on the door, but just couldn’t find the answer. And they were never going to score after the 21st min. when Moreno missed marginally at the far post after combining once again with the influential Adu.

Apart from the goal, Twellmen’s only other chance was an awkward volley that he rasped out at grotesquely. Otherwise, New England was the antithesis of soccer, a horribly negative team holding out luckily for the result, albeit a chance to be MLS Cup champions.

Carvings from the Dagger

In this article we want to address a coaching issue that seems to run rampant on the training grounds—the coaching alpha ego that seems to always place itself before the real issue of player development.

Coaches beware of falling into one of these two coaching personalities: the first one being the “Stage Robber” and the second one, “The Imposter.”

The “Stage Robber” was a player that now hogs the field when coaching. With this type, the coach is too often the topic while the real question about player ability is overlooked, or ignored. This coach is more interested in a past heyday, then the actual achievements of the players. 
 
We understand that an incredible play and the light touches are necessary from time-to-time and fully encouraged, but remember your curtain has already fallen, so use it as a bridge to put the lime-light on your current crop of understudies. 

Next up is the “The Imposter.” This type of coach has never done it, yet still poses as the All-American and talks the big game. These coaches have never played soccer, but believe they have the only road map to soccer success. They have fooled themselves into believing they have already arrived, so they are closed mind and paranoid toward any assistance or support.  

Coaches keep these two identities in mind when preparing your next practice. Keep an open mind and take the calm road to instruction.
 
Allow for every opportunity to encourage open play. Model good soccer, but don’t steal the stage when your players are finding their own pulse within the game. Games and wins will take care of themselves if the spirit and right attitude is fostered in your team.

For access to additional soccer training topics and videos email us at training@4skills.com for free access to Virtual Soccer Trainer, which contains over 300 hundred soccer related topics and videos.

While all top three teams won this past Sunday in Futbol Argentino, River Plate’s (5-0) domination of San Lorenzo at home in the Monumental was a goal shower. In a heavy down pour that made for very quick and slick conditions, it was River Plate that adjusted the quickest to the conditions and stunned San Lorenzo with two goals in the opening 10 min. 

Victor Zapata opened the scoring in the 6th min., rising at the far post to head home a cross from the right. River followed 2 min. later with their second goal from Ernesto Farias in the 8th min. Gallardo forced an interception from a San Lorenzo defensive throw-in; Zapata then kept the fight alive by heading on to Farias, who struck his first goal of the tournament with a shot across the keeper to the far post with his left foot.

San Lorenzo’s coach, Oscar Ruggeri, fearing the worst—a flood of goals—appeared immediately from the dugout shouting and demanding a better response from his players.

After some pressure and composure from San Lorenzo, River Plate carved out another excellent chance with Gallardo chest trapping into space and then cutting past a few defenders, but his well struck drive was denied in the 30th min. by the San Lorenzo keeper.

San Lorenzo felt they should have had a penalty in the 32nd min., but the referee waved it off for what he must have deemed simulation. One minute later San Lorenzo was awarded a penalty, however, as the River keeper was adjudged harshly to have taken out the striker though he had already saved the ball. San Lorenzo keeper then stepped up to the spot kick, but the River keeper was able to make the all important save.

The 2nd half provided much of the same as River Plate continued their fast-pace attacking tempo. Zapata scored his second goal in the 62nd min. River striker Higuain dispossessed a San Lorenzo defender and played a lead ball into Belluschi, who with sliding brilliance was able to release Zapata, who chipped classically out of the reach of the onrushing keeper.

Ariel Ortega was introduced to the game and provided instant impact as his cross set up a River teammate perfectly though the player could only scuff his shot on goal. “Burrito” then set the stadium alive as he took a chipped pass out of the air 1st time (beating the defender) and then finished off his dribble with a masterful chip that beat out the keeper and snuggled into the back side netting.

Fellow substitute Mendez helped finish the deluge as his inch perfect cross found Ernesto Farias, who also scored his 2nd of the game, for a close range snap header.

With Boca Juniors picking up another 3 pts. in the mid-week, Saturday’s pivotal match between Estudiantes and River Plate becomes even more important in keeping pace with Boca. River will be on the road, but they hope to bring their goal shower with them.

Carvings from the Dagger

Tottenham defeated Chelsea (2-1) in a thumping match that left Mourinho in a fog, pointing fingers at Graham Poll for what the Chelsea manager deemed inconsistent and damaging decisions.  

Chelsea opened the scoring through Makelele and looked destined to continue their winning ways at White Heart Lane, where Spurs had not defeated the champions on their home turf since 1987 when the mullet was king. Makelele hit a breath taking volley for a man that is asked to shore up the defense and provide the steel in the midfield.

Spurs were not disheartened though and Michael Dawson leveled the score with a glancing header that lifted the spirits of Spurs and convinced them that they could compete with Mourinho’s men.

The 2nd half provided just as much intrigue and passion as both teams looked for the go ahead goal. Teenager, Aaron Lennon sent the Spurs’ faithful into a frenzy as he placed a left-footed bender into the net past a wrong footed Chelsea defense. Robbie Keane was able to wriggle free from defender Boulahrouz on the right before playing in a cross that was deflected into the path of Lennon, who still had to settle the ball and maneuver between Ashley Cole and John Terry to unleash the game winner.

Chelsea pushed forward looking for the equalizer, but captain, John Terry was shown the red card after a pushing and yelling sequence with Tottenham players. It was difficult to see the real cause of the expulsion, but based on Terry’s reaction it was clear that he knew that he did something to receive his walking papers.

Even with 10 men, Chelsea continued to push forward, and Tottenham with constant help from injured defender, Chimbonda, was a bit lucky not to concede. Nonetheless, Spurs kept all 3 pts., dropping Chelsea 3 pts. behind Manchester United at the top of the table.

Top Three Goals of the Week:
1. an incredible back heel volley from Spain
2. an irresistable aerial side volley from Columbia
3. a bewitching long free-kick from Argentina 
Click here to see them in action

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