Dallas defeated the Rapids (2-1) and take the advantage home for the 2nd leg of this Western Conference playoff showdown.

Dallas took the lead horrifically after a throw-in from half-field allowed for “El Pescadito” to reel in a little goal. Carlos Ruiz “The Little Fisherman” turned one Rapid defensemen impersonating a cone, dismissed Pablo Mastroeni with a one-finger push, then met an ex-Real Madrid player at the penalty spot before rolling the ball under a flapping keeper.

The Rapids had to rely on their South American connection of Niko Presly (the best Elvis lip impersonator) and Martins “the Brazilian Mountain Man” to scrape back some dignity. Despite Colorado’s general three-stooge-esque interpretation of the game, Presly and Martins tried their best to make it a true fight. Martins stole Kyle Beckermen’s chip-into an on-running teammate and hammered a turning, side volley off the post that made the ball flash across its mouth. Cooke the midfielder from the opposite side finished a sound move that proved not all comedy ends bad.

Dallas despite barely showing up themselves scored the winner early in the 2nd half when the defender (I think his name is Gangrene, whatever makes your leg fall) confused himself and step up to the mark in-front of him, leaving someone free behind. The Dallas Maverick was fast enough on the draw to take a touch and finish far post.

Unfortunately, Martins, the Mountain Man and possibly Colorado’s best player, let the passion boil over and was sent off for a deliberate and unwarranted elbow.

It is free parking in Dallas for the spectators on the return leg. Saturday’s game should serve up some laughs as probably the loser in the Western Division finals will be decided.

Colorado gets a Savage Hammer!

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 24th, 2006 at 4:15 am and is filed under Soccer World, USA, Rick Wall (Head Editor). You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.